April.Elizabeth

"Fat kids never win"

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:19:13 -0500

Ex boyfriends are such douchebaggs. Like honestly. I dont understand how i can try so hard and want to look so good, just to prove someone wrong. And someone who is trashy and classless and dosent even deserve my time but someone who i feel i just need to prove wrong. I dont think he gets how hard ive worked my ass off to be ‘skinny’ and how hard his words hurt me and brought me down. I dont just forget about these things, ya know? But thats just it. I dont think he DOES know. Wow. So today to make things even better he tells me hes moving to his dads and we’ll probably never see each other again. And at the end of us txting back and forth he says ‘fat kids never win.’ Really? How am i supposed to take that? Is he meaning i’ll never get his attention or i’ll never be good enough for him? Is he talking about the fight between me and his ex girlfriend? Ugh, thats so frusteratingg. And i asked and hes not replying to me at all. So shit happens i guess. People dont understand that words really do mean something. But im done. Hes moving, ive moved on. He’ll be out of my life and im happy as i am now. I have the most amazing fiance now and thats how things will stay <3

I guess doors close for a reason,
and others open to help you move on.

Going shopping with my mommy and my baby. And thats goood cuz i need it. Ah, and a drinkkk.

Lingering thoughts...

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:58:03 -0500

It sucks getting so screwed over by guys. I hate that ive been so mistreated in the past that now once i get something good i question every little thing. How can i be jealous, when i hangout with guys myself? Its like pointing fingers, when i know my own hands arent clean. And its the sadest thing when we talk and he ends up crying because of my jealousy and hes thinking its a way of shoving his love for me back in his face when hes never done one single thing to make me hurt, or mistreat me. I just dont know, i wish it wasnt this way. I wish i didnt care. And im surprized because im ususally so emotionally strong and i know just what to say when my girlfriends come to me with their weaknesses but when its my turn i havent the slightest clue how to act.

I know he loves me.
He shows me every day.

Ive got to stop acting this way</3

No school for mee(:

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 11:47:00 -0500

Instead going shopping with my mommy(: Im glad shes my best fran. Shes going to San Diego this weekend and who better to be her shopping buddy than her own daughter? Hahha. I really dont feel that good though. I have this HORRIBLE pain in my side and its been there since yesterday. Gaaay. But whatever.

At least i’ll get to txt my boyy all day long and not have to worry about hiding from dumb teachers. Or maybe he’ll be too interesed in Rachels dumb sex stories he wont reply. I hate whores. Honestly. My boyfriend dosent care about you, and your freaking ugly. Just for the record.(:

Welllll thats about it for now. Gonna listen to music and parttay
till we leave.
Love ya.

Banquet && Thoughts

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:12:16 -0500

So today was Mats football banquet and at first i was like theres no way i can sit here for four hours but it turned out not to be so bad(: So when we were done we went back to his house and as my dad was picking me up he was like “Did you and Mat fallout?” And i was like HEAVENS NO! ahahaha cuz he didnt walk me out to the car or something ahaha. But thats cuz he offered and i was like noo its fine cuz he was extremely tired. But i got to thinking.. How does someone fall out of love? How can you know that your extremely head over heels with someone and then one day wakeup and be like ya know, i dont really love//like them anymore. That really bothers me. And the same thing with getting bored of someone. At one point in time you thought they were the most incredible person in the world and you would of given anything to be with them at any given time, so i think if you were at that point once you could easily get to that point again despite the circumstances. But who knows, maybe its just me. My next deep thought; “What it fully means to be engaged…”

Eating strawberry yogurt and a green apple.
Goinggg to bed. <3
Night.

Ughhhh.

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:47:50 -0500

I think that theres always someone youll remember. Like fifty years from now ill still look back and think about that one person who i could just never satisfy. And im not even sure why i even care or why im still worring about it. Its just like hes there and no matter how much makeup you put on, how skinny you get, how pretty your delicate dress is or how many guys long for your attention he just dosent seem to notice. Or maybe its the fact that for so long everyone always said i had style and then he goes for her whose COMPLETELY opposite of me and it just doesent make sence. Its kinda like i never really mattered to him in the first place, which kind of sucks, because you cant say i love you to someone and then a month later hate them and not say a word to them. Honestly how heartless are guys made these days? I guess im just trying so hard and shes a carbon copy of everything im not. I guess im dissapppointed, and not impressed at all.

Congratulations.
Let me be the first to wish you the worst, becacuse i think you deserve each other.

Im glad im happy now and i wish i could forget about my past.
Hopefully going over to my boyfriends for homework help (: Its a gooood thing hes smart. Ahahaha.
Have a great rest of the day<3

Bright and Early(:

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:50:34 -0500

Im up today bright and early to get an early start on things. I woke up to rain pounding on my window, but its fading now. Im pretty much done cleaning my room i just need to vaccumm and do laundry so im really excited about that. Mat comes home in 2 days, and theyre just creeping by. I misshh him <33 I already made breakfast so im happy to have some kind of food in my system to get me through the day.

Hope everyone has a beautiful day (:

This is so sweet <33

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:25:51 -0500

This is so sweet <33

"I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever."

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:24:20 -0500

““I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever.””

- Stephanie Myer

Ramblings about love...

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:13:36 -0500

I really wish you knew how much i love you and I wish i could tell you. I think more than anything, Im scared. Im scared because i dont know what tomorrow brings nor do i know if i’ll truly end up with you when im old and gray. Theres nothing more that i could ever want. Living my entrie life with you and having Jessica and Ryan would make me the happiest i could ever be and i could die knowing that i lived my life JUST THE WAY I wanted to. And i know you say you love me, and im sure you really do but in the back of my mind the words “Nothing is ever carved in stone” replays over and over again. And im scared because i trust you. I trust you more than i would some of my own family and i tell you so much and i put so much into you that if you ever left i’d be devistated. And i think im this scared because ive put my heart and soul into some friendships and even past relationships only to get hurt in the end and i never know if that is what will happen with us. I could NEVER trust anyone like i trust you nor could i explain my stories and life and have someone understand the way you do. And ya know, maybe you dont understand, maybe your confused out of your mind but everytime you always say just the right things and you do the most perfect actions at the right time and thats what leads me to believe you understand. And maybe im just a hopeless romantic and who knows you could leave me for always being afraid but i guess ill never know. Life is full of a bunch of ‘never knows’ and i guess thats what makes life life. And tonight you said you would sacrifice your happiness for my love, and honestly thats the sweetest thing someone could ever say but honestly all i want is for you to be happy. And i want you to be with me as long as i make you happy and i want to be your best friend, girlfriend, and wife. And i want to do everything together and i want the best for you but with the best comes happiness and if im not your happiness then you need to leave and find it. And i really hope this never has to happen and you say your happy now and thats great! Im extremely happy that your happy and i hope things stay that way forever. I think im just rambling now.

What i really mean to say is; I love you Mat. And honestly your all i know. I have no best friends because your it. And im not ashamed to say that or even admit but if you ever left i wouldnt know what to do. Im engaged to you now until we get married. And then youll be my entire life.

I guess i need you baby <33
I love you.

What i need <33

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 14:08:55 -0500

What i need <33

"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true."

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 14:05:47 -0500

““Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.””

- Unknown

Good Afternoon Lovlies (:

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 13:43:01 -0500

Today seems like it shoud be a pretty lazy day just cleaning up around the house and doing some laundry. I wasnt too happy at my weight this morning though, I really needa start working on that. Hahha. Mat gets back in 3 days <33 But hes finally in a place where he has service so we get to text most of the day and then talk at night. I was really super happy about that. :)

I hope everyone has an amazinggg day!
<33
April

Before Christmas Dinner (:

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:45:25 -0500

Before Christmas Dinner (:

"What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in..."

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:33:00 -0500

““What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.””

- Bob Dylan

Merry Christmas! <3

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:13:56 -0500

Well today went fairly well. It was nice that Christmas was turned around for us this year and my parents got most of the presents cuz my sister and i decided we just wanted cashhh so (: My parents were extremly happy this morning and I was happy to see their shining faces, and besides they really deserved it. We all got ready and in the afternoon went over to my uncles for Christmas dinner and it was nice having the whole family together. We get crazy hahaa. So today i was just thinking how last year my dad gave me $900 and i spent it on extemely stupid stuff. Like a $100 dollar outfit and a lamee MP3. I was like wow really i could of bought a laptop, which i need and want desperatly! But it was just a thought, cant take it all back now. Hahahha.

My boyfriend gets home in 4 days and i cant even begin to tell you how excited i am. I watch the real housewifes of OC and theres sooo much of that show that reminds me of my boyfriend and i <3. Hes comming over on New Years and we’re gonna party. Ahahah Literallyy. (: I love him.

So anywaay thats the update for today. It was a good Christmas and i cant wait to go shopping. Hope everyone elses went well too :D

Happy Christmas Eve!

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 11:41:00 -0500

Well even though things started out pretty rough this morningg they all got better and everything fell into place. We went shopping for a little while and then ate out at Chilis. Our only problem now is that WalMart is closed and we need stuff ;)
Hahahaha. But we’ll figure it out. Merry Christmas Eve <33

Very Thankful (:

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:57:00 -0500

So last night at Ulta i bought a Hot Tools crimper, mascara, and foundation. Well today when i was getting ready i decided to try out my crimper and omgg it was horrible. My hair was bigger than the size of the US and it was sooo frizzy! Deffinatly not worth the $70 it cost me. So at the moment i am VERY THANKFUL for my Metropolis flat iron that fixed my discusting hair and made it tame and beautiful :) Ah. And thenn i was doing my makeup and my foundation was amazinggg but i used the mascara which was $17 and i was like um no. It was baadd. Soo much for “LONG and LAVISH” eyelashes. Freakingg dumb. So today im running a ton of errands with my mom, finishing up some Christmas shopping for people and our very last stop is Ulta to return the crimper and mascara. hahahah. The mascara brand was Skyscraper by Urban Decay by the way. I wouldnt recommend it to anyone.

My cats here beside me though, keeping me company and calm ;) Hahahah.

I just want some coffee. I need to relax. I miss my babyy<33

"Thin is beautiful"

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:33:21 -0500

““Thin is beautiful””

THINNN

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:31:17 -0500

Well we’re shopping at Hollister and the mall in general and my sister is a size zero so everything she picksout will fit her unlike others of us who have curves. So I really can’t wait to loose all my weight but it’s honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But soon ill look good and skinny and be tan and fit into cute little shorts and skirts and be as girly as possible.

Inspiring.

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:00:40 -0500

Well its been a while since I’ve posted because ive just been so busy with the Christmas rush and everything. But now my boyfriend is away in Kansas and i miss him like crazy but only 7 more days and he’ll be home. So while hes been away i’ve been working on our scrapbook and trying to get things together. I would also really like to begin making my own line of tees or something simple. I just dont know where to start so if you have any information on that please let me know. :D

I was also just browsing different peoples tumblrs and i think its really sweet how most people just pour their heart and soul into it and its nice to read on differnt peoples view points on life and different topics. <3 It was really nice.

Well we’re off to go out to eat at Tierneys and then shopping all day :)

Have a blessed day.